Alone is awesome, too! Confessions of an ambivert from a big fat Indian family

So, this is how it goes. I am a normal person, I think. Just like many others there are days when I like socializing. There are days when I like solitude. Just that the latter out numbers the former. But when I socialize I just lap it up, like a partly domesticated party animal. On the other hand, on a daily basis, a dose of solitude feels lovely and I somehow manage to snatch that time from the thousand other things that are always pressing.

Now, transpose this tendency of mine into the Indian festival scene. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that, in India, we have festivals rightfully occupying our calendar for a good half of the year . Starting from August up until March we have at least one occasion every month when we do a Puja (special prayer) at home, buy new dresses and gifts, prepare delicacies, share it with friends and family. While this is actually great for celebratory reasons, the onset of this season can be quite nerve racking for working women, introverts and confused ambiverts, like me. Having to lose those few hours of me-time to prep your house, spouse and kids for each occasion consistently for few months is quite capable of turning injurious to one’s sanity. Top that up with constant company of one or the other family member(I can see the withering smile of my parents and in-laws alike. How dare I sound like a true blue rude one!!) and your inner voice always urging you to be that great host to them(OK, I don't even know if they’d rate me a decent one). And the biggest test every year is…yes! you guessed it right, the Deepavali (Diwali).

Festive razzmatazz of a South Indian family

It is customary in almost all average Indian households to start Deepavali preparations minimum 4–5 days in advance. There is fresh grocery shopping to be done for the sweets and savouries to be made. These home made delicacies will last a good few weeks and they would be offered to the Gods on the day of Diwali during the Puja. So the preps start along with frantic verifications, with none other than the omniscient Mom. Every year, some how, there would be more or less the same doubts. And that's because right after making each delicacy, its recipe is promptly forgotten for the good rest of the year, like a kid flushing out the syllabus right after stepping out of the exam hall. There are better things to be stored in the mind, you see. Write the recipes down, for a change?!…Nah, sometime later. Somehow, with all the hopping jumping leaping and running, Diwali gets over! Indeed with lots of fun and frolic, meeting family and friends, exchanging gifts, having joyful reunions. That day the extrovert in me is fully alive and kicking. Return back home after all the partying, there’s no remorse. After a relaxing sleep, the other giant in me wakes up. The one that says hurray! it’s time for silence! Well, its not the end of the story yet. There are few more festivals lined up in the consecutive months, but they are all minions compared to this mammoth.

At last, after a hectic few months, the house peacefully adorns a normal look and I gleefully sport my rags. Deciding to take the day for myself, I see my husband and daughter off and settle down into my serene solitude. Here’s my favourite nook awaiting my return and there’s a book waiting to be read, so together we tread on. For the next few hours, the humble abode I call home turns magically into a lush green forest or a picturesque beach, just for me. That silence was my way of recharging myself. Whoever fears loneliness, hasn’t relished it the right way. Solitude is not running away from company, it is running to your own self. It does not mean one hates people, it just means one loves to be on her own. For all those who sulk on being alone, here’s my piece of free advice. Whenever you can, take time off to retire into yourself. It is totally worth it. What’s more, it can be addicting and help you churn out a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious blog post!!

My nook